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simonthackeray
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1406 Posts |
 Posted - 04/04/2012 : 19:11:36
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....sent me the following message today asking for my advice. So excited was I at receiving this one in a lifetime opportunity (12th this week!) I had to reply to him as well.
ATTN: My Friend,
Compliment of the day to you and your love once,
My name is Engr. Abdelselm Ali Ahmed from Tripoli Libya. I am now 64 years old but retired. I was former personal investor & financial consultant advisers to a Top Politicians in Libya, also an oil Tycoon from Libya and from Saudi Arabia. This is to contact you towards recent information plans of project relocation and Investment to your country.
According to the Consultancy recent research highlight, I was glad of the informations of projects as tourism investment and real estate Economy Growth as well as growing of infrastructures.
Actually, your country market sounds interesting and relaxing if one decide of further relocation.
I would be glad if you can tell more about 2 cities in your country that's good for tourism
or real state investment. Let me know of other city you may know as per your idea.
I will appreciate whatever result you may brief me. Do let me know your idea and knowledge regarding this or any other profitable investment you may suggest and on my next email i will explain to you the full details of the Proposal and interest project.
I shall tell you more about me on my next email, upon your reply you may as well tell me little more about yourself as i will like to co operate with you for our benefit as you may as well act as my international investment manager in your country.
Awaiting for your reply on my private emailbox: ( engradbelselmaliahmed.lib@hotmail.com )
Thanks and best regards,
Engr. Abdelselm Ali Ahmed.
My Reply.
Salutations and Fortifications!
Many thanks friend for your unsoliciterated missive of the emailous variety.
To whit, personally I am englamoured by the love shown metaphorically by the temptation offered to my humblest of souls and my glands swell with pride on the receptacle of your generosity.
You ask with much forwardness and epilepsy of my status about my market. Well, I am foretold of enthusiasm for the greenness and wetness of the profitability of such a projectile that I am replicating this message to you fifthwith. There are many and fourfold opportunities to carry on your business as your careful research shows.
Please to be consulterating with my in the sense of speaking to me again with a degree of enthusiastic wibble to inform me of your great investment Plains. I like investment Plains, have indeed visited the great plains in that great United States of Clipstone. I have great queeries in type of erection that you will be hosting in my honour.
If may be of suggesting towns and cities of the investable nature, I would like to give you the names of popular towns that currently have a tourist requirement. They are:
Lesser Cockscratch by the Flange, such a place of natural beauty with requirement for infrastructure investing,
Pas D'Ucheyone D'Leftanside, a place of parlous and tortuous accesibility and agains requestering investments. This is however in the frenchness of France, so will require more of the greasing of the lubricatable parts of the Gallic policification makers. Plenty of your finest Cheese D'nob will be the satisfaction they require.
I too am 46 of your earthyears of age, and have too dealt with the investments of politicians of the truthful and trustworthyness of our glamourous country. If you request, I can be engorged frequently in the company of such people as see fit to make the decidings of investment for our mutual beneficials. At the moment I prefer the relaxation of a position of great Vasectominess to his Lardship Prescott, who would be most parsimonious of your gratuitious perverseness.
It would be of great usefulness for you to contact me with great hastings and I can refer your offering to my respectfully flaccid members to whom might have and maintainify an interest in your investment plains, such that they choose to place their erections alongside yours, in Harmonious love.
As ever your serf, servant and a whole Pigsanus to your coprophagic Festeringness,
Dr Airey Beif-Curtaine, PhD
Chief Engineer to the Honorfication of Lard Prescott of Jag.
23 Leaky Nipplemilk Street,
Fremitus,
Nr Geespot,
West Vulvashire.
I do hope he replies cos I reckon I might just make a fortune here.  
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Happy to be a thorn in the Side of My Primary Care Trust any day.
www.thackeraydental.co.uk follow me on twitter 'thackeraydental' |
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moosetication
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12098 Posts |
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14790 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2012 : 19:19:25
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| Brilliant, literally laughed out loud. Highlight: Lesser Cockscratch by the Flange. May the fleas of a thousand and one camels infest your armpits! |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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OriginalAnimal
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
19310 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2012 : 19:29:03
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| And the most gracious of fornications to you all!! |
I have no time to practice, I'm gigging. Leicester Drum Sniffers Anonymous. #17 of the 582 & 17 0f the 798 World Record Holders.
Jobeky, 2Box Drumit 5, Premier, Highwood/DM drums Paul Brook Snare, Matt Nolan cymbals, Silverstone Drum (seats) Thrones. Los Cabos drumsticks
Re Cycling drums is the future. |
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JGodsall
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
3777 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2012 : 19:30:28
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Busy day then? |
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nick65
Advanced Contributer
1551 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2012 : 23:43:49
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To whit, personally I am englamoured by the love shown metaphorically by the temptation offered to my humblest of souls and my glands swell with pride on the receptacle of your generosity.
If that don't tempt him 'onboard' nothing will,Arf,nay thrice Arf |
keep on keeping on...
Gretsch renown blue oil,8,10,12,14,22.
zildjian k mastersound14 hats,14,16,18 dark K's crashes,20K heavy ride.snares gretsch,ludwig,slingerland,yamaha,pearl mmmm. |
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MrNoisy
Advanced Contributer
9905 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 00:06:06
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| Spot on ...Brilliant reply |
If you don't like my outlook on life ...Then get one of your own |
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Drumheduk
Excellent Contributer
United Kingdom
292 Posts |
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WendyB
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5687 Posts |
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shoestring
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2938 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 08:40:49
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Brilliant reply.
Unfortunately they very rarely read your replies as they are 'on script'.
Chances are he will reply, and when he does ask him why he didn't seem to have read your first reply. His reply will contain the first part of the scam.
However, DROP HIM!!! and don't email back, seriously. He has your real email address and maybe other details. You are traceable if you wind them up further, so just drop him now.
Simon, you can do all the above safely from a dummy email account, it's called scambaiting and you need to bait safely whereas none of your details are known.....incase anything goes wrong.
Here's a link to a site that does all this, however you may lose a few days reading all the funny stories on Scambaiting.
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1050426 |
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monkeythedrummer
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
9190 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 10:20:57
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I did something similar a while ago. However you do have to be careful with your real email address. Most of these people are career criminals, and whilst most of them aren't going to "do" anything it's not great to have them after you. Still......
I found a drum kit on gumtree – which was far too good to be true. I was bored. So I sent out an email. Go!
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Kit looks nice
How would you take payment.
Thanks
Andrew
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Hi,
The drum kit is still for sale.
I prefer you will use bank transfer to send me the payment.NO western union or money gram.
Regards Ian
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That's fine
Could I not just pay on picking the drum kit up?
I wouldn't want to use Western Union - too many scam artists!
Andrew
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Hi
I'm located in Aberdeen at my uncle's place.He recently passed away and I have to sell his stuff.
If you want you can come to collect.
Let me know.
Regards Ian
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Oh dear,
How awful, is he ok? Where are you based in London?
Thanks
Andrew
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Is dead,
I'm here in Aberdeen at his house.I will have to stay here because I'm his only relatives and I have to take care of the house and everything.
Ian
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Ah no,
that's awful.
How will I get to the kit then?
Thanks
Andrew
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Hi,
You can come to collect in ABerdeen or I can ship the drums to you.
Let me know what is the best for you.
Regards Ian
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Hmmm,
Normally I would arrive in boat to Aberdeen but perhaps shipping would be a better option to me would be
a better option. If I give you my address would you be able to ship the drums to me?
How would you like payment? I can do bank transfer or Western Union.
Thanks
Andrew
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Hi Andrew,
Yes,I can ship the drums to you.The package will be fully insured so in case that something will go wrong during shipping we are insured.
I'm ok with payment by western union pr bank transfer.Let me know what you will use.
After you rceive the package you will have 30 days to test the drums and if they are not like I said you will get all your money back.
The total price is 1340 pounds.
I'm waiting your email soon.
Regards Ian
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Western Union seems ok.
What do I need to do?
Andrew
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Hi,
Hvae you made the payment?
Let me know.
Regards Ian
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Hi Ian,
Sorry yes, that's cool - never done it before - how do I send money off? I've uesd paypal but my account is being rubbish at the moment.
Western Union Transfer sounds fine.
Drums sound cool! They looks awesome - what boxes are you going to put them in? I want to know they'll be safe in transit.
Awesome to be getting some DW - much better than the aligator I was thinking of adopting instead.
Thanks again Ian,
Let my know your full details and I can give you to cash I guess. I'm not sure what Western Union Needs
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Hi,
All you have to do is to go at western union office with cash complete a form and in 5 min I can take the payment.
The drums will be professinal packed doubleboxed.The package will be fully insured so in case that something will go wrong during shipping we are cover.
Deduct the transfer fees from the total amount.
After the payment is done please email me your full name, address (the same that you wrote at western union form) and the 10 digits number from them.
Name:Janos Kevnoski
Address:10 Anderson Avenue,Aberdeen,AB24 4LS.
I'm waiting your email soon with the details.
Regards Ian
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Salutations Ian!
That's awesome.
I'm a little confused, you're Ian of course, who is Janos Kevnoski?
Thanks
Andrew
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Hi,
It's me.My friends call me Ian.My name is Janos .
Regards Ian
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Excellent, I guess that means I'm your friend!
That's great news. How much was the kit again? It sure looks great, did your uncle play it did you say?
Thanks
Andy Brooks
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Hi,
My best price is 1300 pounds with shipping included.I will pay the transport and insurance.
My uncle use to play at it.I don't play.
Regards Ian
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Hi Ian,
It's all making sense now. Unfortunately my nearest Western Union Transfer office is now shut.
I asked my secretary to go, but she got lost - I think women have a problem with directions.
I told her how great the drum kit was - but it meant nothing to her. Maybe she doesn't know how rare this kit is. It's sad this great uncle of yours past away, tell me did he play in any bands? He sounds like a good man, was he close?
I'll put the money through tomorrow, all being well. Thanks for the reduction, £1300 is GREAT for a kit like this - I'm pretty poor at the moment but I'm selling some of my gear and girlfriend to raise some cash.
Andrew
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It's done?
Regards Ian
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Coming today friend!
So you just need the number right? I'm sending my secretary now.
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Yes,
I need the 10 digits number from western union and your fullname and address.
Regards Ian
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Of course, you need to know where to ship it?
Can I ask what insurance you are using to ship the drums with? I once had a drum kit arrive and the bass drum was in three pieces!
Andrew
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Hi,
I will ship you at your address or where you want.Confirm the shipping address.
The package will be fully insured so in case that something will go wrong we are covered.
I'm waiting your email soon.
Regards Ian
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Hi Ian,
Of course buddy. Right, she put it through but she's a bit of a dullard so I hope it's gone ok. If she messes this up she is getting fired, or thrown to the crocodiles.
MCTN 1836329352
I want it shippped to
Andrew Brooks
Bum Pheasant Lane
Brixton
SW2 IHD
Thanks again friend.
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Hi,
What name and address that she use at western union office?
Let me know soon.
Regards Ian
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Oh, yes, it wasn't the same address old bean, I'll just go and ask her.
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Hi,
If you can email me the receipt from western union will be just fine.
If you can't ,email me the name that she use at the office.
Regards Ian
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Ok,
I will let you know after I take the payment and I ship the drums.
Regards Ian
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Excellent, that's fantastic.
Really looking forward to getting my hands on them, as you know I had to sell of
loads of my stuff to get these, including some old family heirlooms. However the deal was
simply "too good to be true" as they say - I'm so excited.
DW drums too me are the best drums in the entire world, even better than the Gretsch kits of 1830
made of Jasper Feathers and Unicorn horn - of course it probably wasn't real unicorn - but who cares, right?
Ever since I was a young boy playing spoons for a night in Buddy Rich's progressive prog/jazz ensemble "there way things are not" I've wanted to escape my life as a nobody and make it playing percussion. With a DW drumkit I'm more than halfway there.
THANK YOU, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEANS.
I've put it in capitals because it's so important.
THANK YOU AGAIN
ANDREW THADEUS BROOKET
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Hi,
I was at the office today and they said that the number is not good.
Please email me the scan paper from western union so we can end the deal.
Regards Ian
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Hi Ian,
What?
Idiot woman, I'll fire her for certain now. Doreen has gone too far this time. She is incompetent beyond words dear bean.
They did say there could be a small delay, I knew there was a reason I didn't normally use Western Union Transfer. By "end the deal" I'm sure you mean "get some money and send me a drum kit!" - what funny Scottish terms you have.
Scanning the paper now.
Andrew Thad
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Hi,
I can't sent the kit unless the payment is verified.
When the payment is verified I will ship you drums.You have my word on this.
I'm waiting the scann paper.
Regards Ian
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Hi Ian...
Of course, I understand, that way I could just get the kit and not send any money. I heard that happened to one of my friends, can you believe some people?
Of course, I trust your word, no worries. It's just I've been looking at a kit like this for ages and I'm a little nervous something might have gone wrong. It's Doreen's fault of course, I'm going to have to fire her now.
I'll get the scan to you in an hour.
Andrew
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Hi,
What is going on?
You said that you will send me the scan paper.
Regards Ian
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Hi Ian,
I'm afraid Doreen has disconbobulated her left knee, meaning that she is a little late with her tasks. Sometimes I wonder if a trained monkey would be better!
The Scan will be we you very very soon, it's a LOVELY drum kit, I wouldn't want anyone to beat me to it.
Call me on 0800 555 111 <crime stoppers="" number=""> if it's not done in an hour dear chap.
Andrew Amadeus Thadeus Brooket
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Hi,
I don't have time to lose.
You made the payment or not?
WHat is this?
Ian
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Sent the cash!
Just scanning the Document.
I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!
Andrew Brooket
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Hi,
You said that you made the payment yesterday.
I don't understand.Send me the scan paper so I can verify the payment.
Monday I want to ship the drums.
Ian
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Hi Ian,
No my secretary made the payment yesterday, but she messed it up - which is why it didn't come through. She went out today and I'm scanning it now - I'm well excited!
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Ok,
I'm waiting the scan paper.
Ian
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Hi Ian,
I can't get it it PDF - is a J-peg ok - you'll have to open it in paint - but you can clearly see the detail!
Andrew ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok,
Just send it.
Ian
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Hi Ian,
Here is is...
enjoy buddy!
Andrew
http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/andrewlikestoplay/WesternUnionScan.jpg |
100% NOT SELLING Yamaha DTXplorer Module, 5x ddrum triggers, mesh heads and Yamaha E-cymbals. |
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jamoca
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12511 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 12:45:42
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Made my day. Brilliant.  |
Edible Goody Consumption Officer and Parallel Parking Specialist of the forum's Sonor Delite appreciation society
Personal roistering assistant to Mr Bob Dobalina and (nearly) undisputed Curry King |
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logic_user99
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
10151 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 13:21:39
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| I just drooled a bit with laughter at that spider picture. Gee. Nee. Uss. |
Drums | Cymbals | Sticks
"Starting my professional life from scratch..." |
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14790 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 13:37:46
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| I wish I was wiser with computers and internet security etc., because I would love to play this back-chat game. |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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thebeaver
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1884 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 14:15:57
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| Trouble is though, when you reply to these emails they know your email address is a genuine one so will send more, and pass on your address to others so they can abuse it too. |
Tunbridge Wells Music School
www.twmusicschool.com |
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monkeythedrummer
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
9190 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 23:31:59
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You are quite right Mr Beaver. After the Western Union spider the guy said he was going to "send some boys round to my house"...
Now I almost replied "Awesome, could they bring the kit...BUT actually with my full name and email address I didn't want to push it further.
Of course most of these people are in some far away country and would never bother doing something but you never know. What did surprise me was the amount of anger they had after being found out. They try and rob you blind but if you just take the **** they are full of rage, seems slightly odd to me.
Next time I have an anonymous email address or something I'll be much worse.
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100% NOT SELLING Yamaha DTXplorer Module, 5x ddrum triggers, mesh heads and Yamaha E-cymbals. |
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christianmurphy
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
534 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2012 : 23:51:08
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| HILARIOUS. Spider finished it off nicely |
79 Ludwig - Pearl Masters - Istanbul - Zildjian - DW |
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Brody
Advanced Contributer
1326 Posts |
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christianmurphy
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
534 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2012 : 01:38:29
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| Although I am a bit baffed that he said that you could collect it!? Should have seen if there were any Aberdonians on here that could have seen what happened when arranging a collection |
79 Ludwig - Pearl Masters - Istanbul - Zildjian - DW |
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