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metallicpearl
Advanced Contributer
1842 Posts |
 Posted - 17/08/2012 : 15:46:07
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How do you peeps deal with it?
Basically, a guy walked past me and calmly called me a "w@nk3r" the other day (which was a bit odd as he'd never met me prior to that). I normally just ignore people like that as they're blatantly just looking for a fight. Anyway, for whatever reason, I just snapped back "t0ssp0t". I think he was annoyed (he was with his girlfriend, too) so he was trying to goad me into a right. I just walked away camly and he walked off shouting threats at me.
How do you people on here deal with situations like the above? I was lucky because by walking away calmly, he didn't come back after me but I was also stupid to turn my back after provoking him. I'm not ashamed to say that I was frightened as I didn't know what to do next. I can defend myself but it usually takes me getting hurt before I get angry enough to try and do something about it. I don't want to hurt other people and I just hate fighting, full stop. It's un-necessary.
Does anybody here do self-defence lessons or anything like that? Does it help you to make better decisions in situations like this? Does it help your confidence?
Yours wimpily! |
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moosetication
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12066 Posts |
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Stevie_D
Excellent Contributer
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 16:39:38
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I've found laughing in response to comments like that confuses the other person.
and they better watch out - i'm hard like Ross Kemp in Extras! |
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gaz farrimond
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
11064 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 16:44:48
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I have found that, 95% of the time, anyone who threatens violence will not resort to it and they are playing on the fact that most people, be it by nature or nurture, do not wish to get involved in violence. Anyone who does anything to threaten or escalate violence doesn't want to fight, only look good in front of people; the only real caveat to that is peer pressure. (i.e. football supporters) In my experience, if someone really was looking for a fight they will strike without saying anything.
It is nothing but an ego builder for people, and as easy as it is to feel intimidated by them, like with any bully making a move on them will usually have them walking away shooting their mouth off. Clever retorts are all well and good, as long as the person you are replying to actually understands what you are trying to say and can string words of more than two syllables together.
Not that I advocate violence on the street for the sake of it; I have also found, through personal experience, that only a moderate punch square on the nose and still standing your ground will take the fight out of most people.
As for self defence: The simplest and quickest route to gaining confidence in yourself and seeing quick and real progress would be to take up boxing. 2-3 lessons will have you throwing at least a straight punch.
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The Waterboarders
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thedrumcrew
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
8471 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 16:51:07
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In the past i would of snaped back but things like that don't get to me any more. You can get beat up and if you ever go to the court they can say no comment to everyfecking thing and most get off.
Life is becoming very hard when in the streets because of di-kheads but you cannot do any thing about it so keep your head low untill you have to do something about it.
Ive had runnings with ****s who would stones the windows if i beat them up. |
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Memories are some of lifes most wonderful treasures. |
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gaz farrimond
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
11064 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 16:56:54
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quote:
Originally posted by thedrumcrew
In the past i would of snaped back but things like that don't get to me any more. You can get beat up and if you ever go to the court they can say no comment to everyfecking thing and most get off.
Life is becoming very hard when in the streets because of di-kheads but you cannot do any thing about it so keep your head low untill you have to do something about it.
Ive had runnings with ****s who would stones the windows if i beat them up.
Not long after getting divorced, my sister was temporarily housed on a council estate a few years ago. Some local kids were threatening one of my nephews and decided to throw paint and dog faeces at my sisters house. I went to where they lived and threatened the parents.
Not the most adviseable of routes but it worked.
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The Waterboarders
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drummerant
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1348 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 17:08:12
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quote:
Originally posted by gaz farrimond
I have found that, 95% of the time, anyone who threatens violence will not resort to it and they are playing on the fact that most people, be it by nature or nurture, do not wish to get involved in violence. Anyone who does anything to threaten or escalate violence doesn't want to fight, only look good in front of people; the only real caveat to that is peer pressure. (i.e. football supporters) In my experience, if someone really was looking for a fight they will strike without saying anything.
It is nothing but an ego builder for people, and as easy as it is to feel intimidated by them, like with any bully making a move on them will usually have them walking away shooting their mouth off. Clever retorts are all well and good, as long as the person you are replying to actually understands what you are trying to say and can string words of more than two syllables together.
Not that I advocate violence on the street for the sake of it; I have also found, through personal experience, that only a moderate punch square on the nose and still standing your ground will take the fight out of most people.
As for self defence: The simplest and quickest route to gaining confidence in yourself and seeing quick and real progress would be to take up boxing. 2-3 lessons will have you throwing at least a straight punch.
Totally, I've been "started on" so many times by groups of people (this is when I was a bit younger) and when I approach them accepting their chanllenge I got called a wimp etc etc for some reason? They clearly had no bAlls just big mouths.
I would think the best thing to do is hit them straight in the mouth, I'm sure that would shut them up. But I dont condone violence... |
www.fvfdrums.co.uk |
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scaryhair
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2201 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 17:25:18
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I've got past the point of caring if I get beaten up any more. Idiots need telling and im going to tell them. I do it regularly, que jumpers are my favorite and people who dont say 'thank you'. I usually shout 'F*$k you very much' as loud as I can in a polite way. It confuses the hell out of them.
But, as mentioned, the best response is a witty one. Make some comment about their lack of intelligence or erectile disfunction compensation methods and they soon clam up.
If push comes to shove, aim somewere soft and walk away while there on the floor. 
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beezerk
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
29140 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 17:42:37
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Got to say, I've never had a random person walk past me and give me grief 
Come to think of it I kinda always seem to keep out of trouble, never really had any bother at all to speak of. |
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mark.drums
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1765 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 18:55:08
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quote:
Originally posted by metallicpearl
How do you peeps deal with it?
Does anybody here do self-defence lessons or anything like that? Does it help you to make better decisions in situations like this? Does it help your confidence?
In the experience of someone close to me, self defence classes give very little active help, but give a small amount of confidence that quickly dissipates as soon as you are hit. Then you wake up in hospital and wonder what you spent the money on the classes for. Then you spend six months in weekly therapy sessions to help you come to terms with the idea of being surrounded with idiots who potentially meet out violence unprovoked.
People who attend self defence classes, and the majority of people who start a marshal art as a way of dealing with a perceived unspecific threat are usually not trained sufficiently that stopping/blocking and hitting back are instilled as a reflex action, like instinctively putting a hand out to break a fall is, for example.
IMO, Meeting real, raw agression is incredibly terrifying, and the best training is removing yourself from it as fast as possible by running away. |
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gaz farrimond
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
11064 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 19:11:18
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quote:
Originally posted by mark.drums
quote:
Originally posted by metallicpearl
How do you peeps deal with it?
Does anybody here do self-defence lessons or anything like that? Does it help you to make better decisions in situations like this? Does it help your confidence?
In the experience of someone close to me, self defence classes give very little active help, but give a small amount of confidence that quickly dissipates as soon as you are hit. Then you wake up in hospital and wonder what you spent the money on the classes for. Then you spend six months in weekly therapy sessions to help you come to terms with the idea of being surrounded with idiots who potentially meet out violence unprovoked.
People who attend self defence classes, and the majority of people who start a marshal art as a way of dealing with a perceived unspecific threat are usually not trained sufficiently that stopping/blocking and hitting back are instilled as a reflex action, like instinctively putting a hand out to break a fall is, for example.
IMO, Meeting real, raw agression is incredibly terrifying, and the best training is removing yourself from it as fast as possible by running away.
Probably opening myself up for some flak here, but that phrase is by far one of the biggest problems around when it comes to this kind of thing. Most 'self-defence' courses are taken from sports such as Muay Thai, Taekwondo, Judo etc where both play by the rules amd it's a sport nowadays; irrespective of the disciplines origins. As I've said, boxing is the only real 'self defence' training as it focuses on aggression.
Running away is also an option, but at 45 I'm not as fast as I used to be.
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inmate274
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
686 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 19:21:19
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quote:
Originally posted by gaz farrimond
quote:
Originally posted by mark.drums
quote:
Originally posted by metallicpearl
How do you peeps deal with it?
Does anybody here do self-defence lessons or anything like that? Does it help you to make better decisions in situations like this? Does it help your confidence?
In the experience of someone close to me, self defence classes give very little active help, but give a small amount of confidence that quickly dissipates as soon as you are hit. Then you wake up in hospital and wonder what you spent the money on the classes for. Then you spend six months in weekly therapy sessions to help you come to terms with the idea of being surrounded with idiots who potentially meet out violence unprovoked.
People who attend self defence classes, and the majority of people who start a marshal art as a way of dealing with a perceived unspecific threat are usually not trained sufficiently that stopping/blocking and hitting back are instilled as a reflex action, like instinctively putting a hand out to break a fall is, for example.
IMO, Meeting real, raw agression is incredibly terrifying, and the best training is removing yourself from it as fast as possible by running away.
Probably opening myself up for some flak here, but that phrase is by far one of the biggest problems around when it comes to this kind of thing. Most 'self-defence' courses are taken from sports such as Muay Thai, Taekwondo, Judo etc where both play by the rules amd it's a sport nowadays; irrespective of the disciplines origins. As I've said, boxing is the only real 'self defence' training as it focuses on aggression.
Running away is also an option, but at 45 I'm not as fast as I used to be.
Gaz, if you want REAL self defence then find yourself a Krav Maga class. It's an Israeli self defence system, really easy to learn and extremely effective. It's used by (or has been adapted by) pretty much every armed force around the globe worth their salt and there are no rules. Also as an avid taekwondo practicioner, I would say that it does have its limits but if you think about self defense situations you can quickly see that you can apply a lot of the techniques you learn in slightly different ways to great effect. |
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gaz farrimond
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
11064 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 19:30:34
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quote:
Originally posted by inmate274
quote:
Originally posted by gaz farrimond
quote:
Originally posted by mark.drums
quote:
Originally posted by metallicpearl
How do you peeps deal with it?
Does anybody here do self-defence lessons or anything like that? Does it help you to make better decisions in situations like this? Does it help your confidence?
In the experience of someone close to me, self defence classes give very little active help, but give a small amount of confidence that quickly dissipates as soon as you are hit. Then you wake up in hospital and wonder what you spent the money on the classes for. Then you spend six months in weekly therapy sessions to help you come to terms with the idea of being surrounded with idiots who potentially meet out violence unprovoked.
People who attend self defence classes, and the majority of people who start a marshal art as a way of dealing with a perceived unspecific threat are usually not trained sufficiently that stopping/blocking and hitting back are instilled as a reflex action, like instinctively putting a hand out to break a fall is, for example.
IMO, Meeting real, raw agression is incredibly terrifying, and the best training is removing yourself from it as fast as possible by running away.
Probably opening myself up for some flak here, but that phrase is by far one of the biggest problems around when it comes to this kind of thing. Most 'self-defence' courses are taken from sports such as Muay Thai, Taekwondo, Judo etc where both play by the rules amd it's a sport nowadays; irrespective of the disciplines origins. As I've said, boxing is the only real 'self defence' training as it focuses on aggression.
Running away is also an option, but at 45 I'm not as fast as I used to be.
Gaz, if you want REAL self defence then find yourself a Krav Maga class. It's an Israeli self defence system, really easy to learn and extremely effective. It's used by (or has been adapted by) pretty much every armed force around the globe worth their salt and there are no rules. Also as an avid taekwondo practicioner, I would say that it does have its limits but if you think about self defense situations you can quickly see that you can apply a lot of the techniques you learn in slightly different ways to great effect.
When I was out in Al-Udeid I did 4 months training in the USMC Martial Arts Program with a good friend of mine, GySgt Gonz Gonzales; heavily influenced by KM along with other disciplines. Makes our CQB training look like a group of OAP's wrestling in goose fat.
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The Waterboarders
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beezerk
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
29140 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 19:42:04
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Krav Maga is awesome, don't they use a form of it in the Bourne films?
A mate and I were going to go to classes but in the end he said he didn't think he'd learn anything new so we never went. |
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Let's go Eskimo! |
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thedrumcrew
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
8471 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 19:47:52
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quote:
Originally posted by gaz farrimond
quote:
Originally posted by thedrumcrew
In the past i would of snaped back but things like that don't get to me any more. You can get beat up and if you ever go to the court they can say no comment to everyfecking thing and most get off.
Life is becoming very hard when in the streets because of di-kheads but you cannot do any thing about it so keep your head low untill you have to do something about it.
Ive had runnings with ****s who would stones the windows if i beat them up.
Not long after getting divorced, my sister was temporarily housed on a council estate a few years ago. Some local kids were threatening one of my nephews and decided to throw paint and dog faeces at my sisters house. I went to where they lived and threatened the parents.
Not the most adviseable of routes but it worked.
Mate i live on a council estate O/A came once and he was only there for couple of hour but the police where outside 3 times.
If i go out every time something is happening i would never be in home.
Yes where i live its getting worse but what can i do as no more doom and gloom for me |
Thinking of the future as others close there eyes and hope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKaJ4b0XYmI
Memories are some of lifes most wonderful treasures. |
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clarky_182
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5021 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 20:29:31
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| Working in security, I usually have to deal with at least one jumped up **** every shift. Best thing to do is not get flustered at all. They are doing it with the sole purpose of getting a reaction from you, and they don't know how to deal with you if you remain completely calm with them. |
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jackanakanory
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
931 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 20:30:32
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| I tend to hit large wooden tubs and metal disks to relieve stress and anger. My aim is to make as much loud noise as possible, whilst trying to sound some what musical. Sounds crazy, I know... |
on second thoughts, ignore what I just said |
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sludge
Advanced Contributer
805 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 20:37:01
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Imo it's
1) recognising threats ie whether someone is going to get you or wants an excuse to get you, you provoke (anything at all from speaking, walking towards/away from them, looking at them you get the idea).
2) what do do about them. If you aren't bothered by someone calling you names or maybe giving you a push then it's often easier to walk away, especially if there's more than one.
If they are going to get you anyway then run if you think you can get away and/or shout "fire" which lots of people respond to rather than police as people don't want to get involved.
Fight training is only useful if you do lots of it and as mentioned you can do it without thinking. Self defence classes are pretty useless (edit unless) the person keeps up effective training and/or meets an inept assailant.
The problem with any fight is there is always someone better, more vicious than you, lucky, so if you get into one be prepared to lose and get hurt.
I speak as having done and taught jiu-jitsu for quite a few years. It is quite useful but i would be tempted by any mixed martial arts and more so by one where you can focus on your strengths rather than on stuff you will never be that good at or use.
Fight training may be useful in helping that decision process. It can easily make people over confident especially in the first couple of years though |
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OriginalAnimal
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
19305 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 22:47:12
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Just walk away, as has been said, there is always someone more violent tha you.
Don't induldge the w@nkers, just keep on walking |
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benjisonfire
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
4837 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 23:23:26
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If you don't want to get in a fight, don't go to places or situations where on is likely to happen.
There is no benefit from fighting ever. no masculinity, no credibility, nothing glamorous in winning a fight.
just idiots beating up idiots.
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OriginalAnimal
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
19305 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 10:19:38
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quote:
Originally posted by benjisonfire
If you don't want to get in a fight, don't go to places or situations where on is likely to happen.
There is no benefit from fighting ever. no masculinity, no credibility, nothing glamorous in winning a fight.
just idiots beating up idiots.
Like |
I have no time to practice, I'm gigging. Leicester Drum Sniffers Anonymous. #17 of the 582 & 17 0f the 798 World Record Holders.
Jobeky, 2Box Drumit 5, Premier, Highwood/DM drums Paul Brook Snare, Matt Nolan cymbals, Silverstone Drum (seats) Thrones. Los Cabos drumsticks
Re Cycling drums is the future. |
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thedrumcrew
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
8471 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 15:47:45
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quote:
Originally posted by benjisonfire
If you don't want to get in a fight, don't go to places or situations where on is likely to happen.
There is no benefit from fighting ever. no masculinity, no credibility, nothing glamorous in winning a fight.
just idiots beating up idiots.
What happens if you live in a place where fights happen like outside my house.
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Thinking of the future as others close there eyes and hope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKaJ4b0XYmI
Memories are some of lifes most wonderful treasures. |
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Unkle Kev
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1429 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 16:24:17
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Run if you can.
Never go down.
Anything else is down to luck and numbers. |
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metallicpearl
Advanced Contributer
1842 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 17:12:14
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Many thanks for all your responses!
A mate of mine is a boxing instructor and has said that he will give me some sessions in lieu of some drum lessons, which is nice! I think I'm going to take him up on it just so that I'm better-prepared if/when it does happen and have something to use if I'm ever forced into it.
In terms of not putting myself in that situation by being in a place where people are like that, I don't have much of a choice in some cases. I go to the gym in a crap area and I often gig in pubs which are in rough areas. It's 5h1t that stuff like this happens but I don't want to hide from people like that just because I'm scared of what might happen. That would be putting a restriction on my own life. |
http://www.ladymonsoon.co.uk/
http://www.youtube.com/metallicpearl |
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benjisonfire
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
4837 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 19:14:03
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quote:
Originally posted by thedrumcrew
quote:
Originally posted by benjisonfire
If you don't want to get in a fight, don't go to places or situations where on is likely to happen.
There is no benefit from fighting ever. no masculinity, no credibility, nothing glamorous in winning a fight.
just idiots beating up idiots.
What happens if you live in a place where fights happen like outside my house.
as it does out side mine. I'm on the edge of 2 postcodes... a big deal for London youth apparently. literally enough to die over.
Where I am is close enough to a main street that (except for nutters)it isn't literally outside. down the road yes... but not literally outside my front door.
If you literally live with your doorstep right ontop of somewhere you don't feel safe, then move?
People don't fight with fists anymore, it's a knife or worse. there is no point getting involved.
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Mark W
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1125 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 19:21:08
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...and having read and agreed with the idea that not getting involved is the best idea, I've just confronted a close ish neighbour for dumping a wheelie bin full of garden waste on the field outside of our house!
He lied it wasn't him, I was less than comfortable doing it, but he's since spent the last half hour filling up 6 black bags and taking them to his garage. Not the actions of an innocent man.
As has been said maybe it's not clever but then again I'm not going to be walked over either.
And if he decides to remonstrate at some point I'll stop keeping my wife out of it. THAT will be a big mistake.
Cheers
Mark W |
Once I've hit it, it stays hit.
http://www.theenzymes.co.uk |
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mully
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
23898 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 22:31:45
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ARE YOU F**KING STUPID OR WHA'??? YOU'VE F**KING SPELT F**KING "AGGRESSION" F**KING WRONG!!!!!!
Stephen |
MD Fount of All Wisdom for Life and Extraordinary Amusement Officer of the forum's Sonor Delite Appreciation Society.
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logic_user99
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
10131 Posts |
Posted - 19/08/2012 : 07:45:05
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quote:
Originally posted by mully
ARE YOU F**KING STUPID OR WHA'??? YOU'VE F**KING SPELT F**KING "AGGRESSION" F**KING WRONG!!!!!!
Stephen
There's a lot of disrespectful ****s in Nottingham who'll sling an expletive at you if you do something that they don't like; mostly it's heard AFTER you've walked past them!
Generally (99.9% of the time) I'll always walk past. That .1% of the time, however, will result in hurling 'What kind of language is that?! Learn some damn manners' at them. loudly, in front of whichever public is around. That soon sets them straight. |
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monkeythedrummer
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
9184 Posts |
Posted - 19/08/2012 : 13:45:27
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I've stopped being scared of being hit at some point in my life.
There is a small chance one day I'll get a real kicking and a tiny chance I'll get stabbed or something, but it's such a small chance I'll take it over being constantly frustrated and unable to act at people's anti social behaviour.
If everyone stood up for themselves and others this would be a far better place. Ignoring anti social behaviour is just a green light for the small minority who want to make it worse for everyone.
So, I'm like a low budget batman, me.
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